Life, the not for the sensitive version
Thanksgiving was good but ad some tough parts. Kim and I are getting separated for finical reasons. She wants me to come home now, but I would still need to find a place to live after a month. She asked me if our roles were reversed what would I do. My answer was to have told her to come home six months ago. We are still working out what our future loos like while chatting about Disney in October. It is all very confusing. There was minor bristling and a very honest statement about my relationships and the acknowledgment that I a an adult with a plan with is a good thing.
My plans for the holidays are to go home for Christmas then go up to Kitchner for new years then back to NY for the a month then head back to Syracuse and away from NY. I want to get my life back in order. I want that to involve the film industry but I will take a day job for stability in the interim. I don't feel broken and what I thought of as a period of time as broken was better described by someone else as being on an 18 month deployment with no real breaks. I think it is possible to go back, get work and pick up life and make it work. I do need to get back into shape, work on my reels and build up a body of work. None of this is a problem, it is just work. Recovery from NY should happen relatively quickly. I am just exhausted and not wrecked.
The beautiful distraction got back to me we are in mid discussion about lunch or drinks during the week between now and when I leave. I am thinking of putting forth the idea of going to the met on a Saturday. It seems like a nice thing to do for two art based people who are thus far enjoying each other's company. I had almost given up on hearing back the the text came through. That was a nice bump into lower stress.
Had a contact from Dovid and we are communicating through email until I can get the space and privacy to expand back to regular sessions. Ima keeping him appraised of the fight against my absolutism.
Things have gotten a lot better since I just decided to not care what happens, just so long as some thing happens. I have figured out that I can't wait for people or count on them so I will just go with the flow of things. I am reminded of some of the asinine things people have said to me, the contradictions between what I was told and what is and the conflicts in action vs words. I just can't worry about it.
My plans for the holidays are to go home for Christmas then go up to Kitchner for new years then back to NY for the a month then head back to Syracuse and away from NY. I want to get my life back in order. I want that to involve the film industry but I will take a day job for stability in the interim. I don't feel broken and what I thought of as a period of time as broken was better described by someone else as being on an 18 month deployment with no real breaks. I think it is possible to go back, get work and pick up life and make it work. I do need to get back into shape, work on my reels and build up a body of work. None of this is a problem, it is just work. Recovery from NY should happen relatively quickly. I am just exhausted and not wrecked.
The beautiful distraction got back to me we are in mid discussion about lunch or drinks during the week between now and when I leave. I am thinking of putting forth the idea of going to the met on a Saturday. It seems like a nice thing to do for two art based people who are thus far enjoying each other's company. I had almost given up on hearing back the the text came through. That was a nice bump into lower stress.
Had a contact from Dovid and we are communicating through email until I can get the space and privacy to expand back to regular sessions. Ima keeping him appraised of the fight against my absolutism.
Things have gotten a lot better since I just decided to not care what happens, just so long as some thing happens. I have figured out that I can't wait for people or count on them so I will just go with the flow of things. I am reminded of some of the asinine things people have said to me, the contradictions between what I was told and what is and the conflicts in action vs words. I just can't worry about it.