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May. 31st, 2021 07:46 pm
Let Us Try This Again
Today was spent working on things that were not mine. The thing that was mine and worth the effort was vocalizing what my going forward look like. First was the career plan. Now that has not changed. Get work, camera or post. Keep the freelance business going. Color work is still on the table with a few classes coming up. Taking a look at previous posts I can see that that plan has been intact for a while, it is just harder. My hope is that the classes will lead to the coveted certifications in color, sound, effects, and editing. That can lead to instructor certification. I just need some experience and deeper work with color. Some small gigs, build up, save up for the kit up grade and just keep going. The first class is on Friday and it is an intensive on the ATEM mini.
Now the real weight. The post pandemic outlook. To be direct There is little trust. Between egos, tempers, arrogance and the supremacy of the subjective ego it is hard to look at people and think that they are not going to feed a line of bullshit or under cut. It is going to take time to acclimate to people and the new reality they bring. Only a fool would think that nothing will change, that people who has spent the past year and a half fighting over simple things are going to magically improve.
I had a conversation with myself in the car. The things people do, the thousand little cuts a day. Traffic cut offs, the entitled rudeness of the able bodied, the insensitivity, temper tantrums and cringe worth behavior. The isolation some how made it all just not worth the effort it takes to get angry of these truly meaningless moments. My temper may be quick but like all emotions a temper is a tool. An expression of fight or flight. My isolation taught me that I don't need to get upset or angry. Feel it drop it and move on. My lowest point, being the tail end of NY is behind me. Now it is just the stress of freelance an surviving in a world full of people that are beyond the base level of clueless. If thought is applied to that it is something I have been doing in a so so manner for years. Getting by, well now I think it is possible to do it in a productive manner with a bit of style. The future will not magically improve, nor will morale.
Now the real weight. The post pandemic outlook. To be direct There is little trust. Between egos, tempers, arrogance and the supremacy of the subjective ego it is hard to look at people and think that they are not going to feed a line of bullshit or under cut. It is going to take time to acclimate to people and the new reality they bring. Only a fool would think that nothing will change, that people who has spent the past year and a half fighting over simple things are going to magically improve.
I had a conversation with myself in the car. The things people do, the thousand little cuts a day. Traffic cut offs, the entitled rudeness of the able bodied, the insensitivity, temper tantrums and cringe worth behavior. The isolation some how made it all just not worth the effort it takes to get angry of these truly meaningless moments. My temper may be quick but like all emotions a temper is a tool. An expression of fight or flight. My isolation taught me that I don't need to get upset or angry. Feel it drop it and move on. My lowest point, being the tail end of NY is behind me. Now it is just the stress of freelance an surviving in a world full of people that are beyond the base level of clueless. If thought is applied to that it is something I have been doing in a so so manner for years. Getting by, well now I think it is possible to do it in a productive manner with a bit of style. The future will not magically improve, nor will morale.